Realizations
by BDBLover
Summary: Oliver and Felicity have skirted around their mutual attraction for one another, but Oliver refused to let it go farther. Will his jealousy over Felicity's new interest drive him to openly declare his feelings for her?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! I've been an Arrow fan for a while, but obsessed with Felicity & Oliver lately. I've read tons of FF's and loved them so I decided to give this a shot. It's been a while since I've written so please go easy on me. I've been thinking a lot about what is going on since the mid-season finale. I wanted to try and showcase what I seen them thinking and going through in my head. Comments are always welcome! I love hearing what you think and what you think should happen! I also wanted to take it slow with these two! **

*****disclaimer - I do not own Arrow or any of the characters. **

Felicity had been staring her computer monitor, one of three, for a while. Her mind that was usually running a million miles an hour refused to focus on just one thing today. It was quiet in the "arrow compound" tonight; much like Starling city had been for the past few weeks. Ever since Oliver had almost died and she'd brought Barry in to save Oliver's life, there hadn't much criminal activity. You would think this would please their hood wearing colleague, but it'd had the opposite effect. Oliver seemed more tense than usual, and that was saying something.

"Felicity, what are you still doing here?"

Felicity jumped. She hadn't even heard Diggle come downstairs. She spun in her chair. Diggle gave her his version of a worried expression. His and Oliver's were completely different.

"You're a little jumpy." He said. She immediately grew defensive.

"I was just focused, you know when you're working and thinking about something how you can seem to block out the annoyances around you?" She gave him a pointed look. Dig just crossed his arms and looked past her, to the computer screen.

"I would buy it, but the monitor isn't even powered on." She glanced behind her and shrugged as if she'd known that all along.

"I didn't say I was actually working on the computer." He just grinned and she spun back around, making sure to actually turn the monitor on this time. Diggle sat on the edge of the desk as he usually did.

"You should be at home getting some rest. There isn't anything going on tonight."

"Yeah, then shouldn't 'the Arrow' be taking the night off as well? I sleep better when Oliver is with me. No not with me, I mean when Oliver is at home, when you both are safe and I know you aren't getting into trouble."

The word vomit was uncontrollable sometimes and she hated it. Dig just looked at her, and she feared he could read past her friendly worry about the two of them and see right to the heart of the problem. Somewhere along the line, Oliver had stopped being the vigilante and her boss, he'd become her friend. From that friendship feelings had begun to develop. She tried hard to keep them hidden, but there were times that it seemed impossible to do so; like after they'd gotten back from Russia. She still wasn't sure why Oliver had come to try and "explain" his night with Isabel to her. More than likely it had been because he'd known she'd been upset about it, which was a complete waste of her time, really it was. Oliver had come a long way from the man she'd first met down in the IT department, but he was still An Island.

"I think Oliver feels better when he's being proactive." Diggle offered in way of explanation. Felicity just shook her head.

"Yeah well some of us would like a night off of the worrying." Felicity made a point of checking things on her computer to try and distract herself.

"Well if you put it like that…" Felicity whipped her head around to Diggle.

"No, we won't put it like that to him at all. Let's just change the subject. How about Christmas day? I don't really celebrate Christmas, but I don't think any of us should be alone on Christmas day. Then again maybe you weren't going to be alone on Christmas day…and Oliver will have his family. So maybe it's just me."

She paused and glanced back up to Diggle. He was wearing an amused smile at her rambling.

"Do you have plans for Christmas day?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Not really. I thought about Chinese takeout. As for Oliver, maybe you should ask him."

"Ask me what?" Oliver's voice echoed through the room and both of them looked up. The hood was pushed back exposing his exquisitely beautiful face. She hid the relief she felt at seeing him here safe and without a scratch. He looked both of them over. Felicity pushed her glasses back up her nose before answering.

"I thought about asking if you had Christmas plans, but then I figured you probably did, being your mom is out of prison and all and of course you have your sister. So yeah…plans. Christmas." She nodded once for emphasis.

Oliver placed his bow carefully in its case then glanced over at her. "We usually have a dinner party that evening. I think it will benefit to have a quiet family thing this year."

Diggle stood and stuck his hands in his jacket pocket. "I'm going to head out, it's getting late."

Both she and Oliver bid him goodnight. She sat silently watching Oliver place his arrows back in their own slots, watched as he pulled the hood off. She knew she should turn around, especially as he was shirtless, but she couldn't help that he was built like a Greek god. She should get up and leave, follow John's example and go home to rest…except she couldn't get up. Somewhere deep inside she wished that just once, Oliver would look at her the way she'd seen him look at Laurel. She would never admit that out loud, not even to herself, but it was there deep inside of her; a longing that couldn't be completely ignored.

Oliver knew Felicity was watching him. He felt her eyes on him as he put everything away, and stripped the hood off. He knew that Felicity felt something for him, she'd hinted at it, but had never said anything directly. He'd alluded to it as well after returning from Russia, but not once since then. He didn't want to encourage her, he wanted to keep her at arm's length or further. It had been proven that the people he cared about in the past always got hurt because of him. He didn't want to involve himself with some other innocent.

"What about you, Felicity?" He glanced over his shoulder and met her gaze. She furrowed her brow and averted her eyes immediately.

"What about me what?" he smiled faintly at her confusion, as if she'd lost all track of thought.

"Christmas, do you have plans for Christmas?" He reminded gently.

"Oh, right…well nothing really. Probably take a cue from John and order Chinese." She stood up suddenly and grabbed the jacket hanging on her chair. "I'm going to go."

"Felicity." She stopped when he called her name and looked right at him. "Why don't you come to dinner with me and my family on Christmas day?"

She was already shaking her head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Oliver."

He nodded once. "Well if you change your mind…"

"I'll know where to find you." She licked her lips and his gaze caught there for a moment. The coral lipstick she wore tonight matched the color of her cheeks. He wasn't sure why he noticed. "Goodnight, Oliver."

She hurried out the door and he was left alone. He rested his palms on the metal table and hung his head for a moment. He hadn't meant to hurt her by sleeping with Isobel, but he had. However, her focus had shifted from that dramatically when Barry had shown up. He'd known there was something about the kid that didn't sit right with him and he'd found out the truth. Barry had been lying about his occupation and his reason for helping out on the case. It irked Oliver, but Felicity had turned it around on him. He knew that they maintained a façade during the day, but that was a necessity to be able to do what they did. Lying was a part of their lives, and for a good reason. Barry hadn't had any such reasoning behind his lies. He'd thought he'd been doing the right thing by calling the kid and getting him to show up at their party. He'd thought he would simply smooth things over with Felicity by the gesture, but something else had happened. He'd seen Felicity dance with Barry, smile at Barry, and it had hit him that she could honestly be interested in the guy.

To say he hadn't liked the thought was an understatement. He refused to even talk about the tension between them, but he did not want her involved with Barry. If he was honest it wasn't even the kid that he had a problem with, it was the fact that Felicity…was his. He knew it made no sense. Felicity wasn't his, he wouldn't allow that kind of relationship to develop between them and yet….and yet the thought of her with another man caused something dark to stir inside of him.  
He slammed his palms against the table, frustrated with himself and his thoughts and how those thoughts seemed to be bleeding over into his emotions. He couldn't afford that, not with the way he lived. He couldn't afford to think emotionally, especially where Felicity Smoak was concerned.

**If you guys liked this little bit of insight and want to see more, please let me know! Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow so holidays were crazy and I just got to focus long enough to put a chapter together. I would like to take a moment and thank everyone who read and commented! I loved your feedback and opinions! As far as this new chapter, I wasn't sure about this idea, but it just wouldn't go away, so I put it together and here goes…**

It always amazed Felicity how quickly one's mood could change. One minute just fine, doing her job, or one of the two that she currently held, humming a tune that had been stuck in her head most of the day, and the next moment more annoyed than she could express. It was bad enough that she had to see Isabel Rochev in passing, now the woman was in Felicity's space…behind her desk…messing with her computer?

Felicity cleared her throat loudly, her irritation skyrocketing when Isabel straightened and looked down her nose, as if Felicity was beneath her. God she hated this woman.

"Umm…excuse me. What are you doing?"

Isabel crossed her slender arms over her stomach, her whole posture screamed 'better than you' and it caused a severe frown to tug at Felicity's mouth.

"Just making sure that Oliver was aware of the meeting this evening. I was simply going to ask his secretary if it was on his agenda, but she wasn't at her desk. I assumed she was off doing something other than the job she was hired for, so I figured I would check myself."

Felicity white knuckled the file folders in her hands and tried to count backwards from ten to calm her rising temper. She got to seven.

"Is that so? How did that go for you?" She asked, knowing that her computer was protected just in case someone wanted to snoop while she was out. By the frown on pretty Isabel's face, she hadn't been able to access it. Not surprising.

Felicity walked over to the desk and dropped the folders on it then walked around and jerked the chair out from under the desk. Isabel had thankfully moved around the desk, her arms once again crossed, her foot tapping as if waiting. Felicity glanced up, an innocent expression on her face.

"Why don't I check on that for you when I get a chance? I'll just email you to let you know whether or not _Mr. Queen_ will be attending that meeting." The emphasis on 'Mr. Queen' didn't go unnoticed by Isobel. Her eyes narrowed, but she turned and strode out.

"You and I need to have a conversation." Felicity declared as she burst into Oliver's office.

Oliver and his client looked up. His eyebrows rose slightly, noticing Felicity's flushed cheeks and blazing eyes. It took a lot to get Felicity this riled up, but right now was just not a good time to have to deal with anything.

"Felicity, as you can see I'm in a meeting. Can this wait?" He urged her silently to agree that the matter could wait and walk out. However, she apparently wasn't having any of it.

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Queen, this cannot wait." She turned to his client and placed her hand on his shoulder as if already guiding him out of the office. "Sir, if you don't mind waiting. Mr. Queen will be with you in just a moment."

And just like that Felicity cleared his office, barely missing the man's suit jacket as she shut the door. Oliver stood, smoothed his own blazer, his lips thinning as he met Felicity's heated gaze.

"Is this Arrow business?" He asked quietly.

"NO. This isn't about…that. This is about your Russian lover thinking she has the right to help herself when she walks into my office!" Oliver's confusion must've been obvious, for Felicity continued. "You know it's bad enough that I have to deal with her, but when she thinks she can come in my office, try and get on my computer, then make accusations as if I'm not doing my job, she's crossed a line Oliver!"

He held his hand out to stop her from continuing. Her cheeks were pink, her hands propped on her hips that was covered by a hot pink skirt. He almost found himself admiring how attractive she was when she was angry. He cleared his throat, swiftly switching gears on his thoughts. He'd covered this before Christmas. A relationship or attraction between himself and Felicity was never going to happen.

"Felicity" He had to call her name sternly, because she'd started ranting once more. He waited until she looked directly at him. "I'm sorry that she upset you-"

"Upset me? You think this is what it's about? You think I'm griping to you, because she hurt my feelings? That's not it at all!"

"That's not what I said-"

"Then what are you trying to say, Oliver?"

"If you would let me finish…" He gave her a pointed look. She huffed out a breath, but thankfully didn't say anything else. "I'll talk to her and ask her-"

"Oh no, you aren't going to talk to her. You know what…never mind. Forget I came in here, but do not ask me to deal with her again." Felicity turned to storm out. He didn't get it. She wanted him nowhere near Isabel frickin Rochev! Just the thought of the two of them irked her. She'd been dealing fine with all of this until today. She'd come to work before and after Christmas, worked in the foundry at night with Oliver and had put it all behind her. Then the super model witch just sauntered into her office space and ruined her day.  
Her arm was grabbed keeping her from walking out the door. Oliver had been across the room when she'd turned around; she'd only been three feet from the door. Sometimes she forgot how quick he was.

"Wait. Felicity, I don't know what happened, but I'm sorry it did." His eyes said he meant it, she glanced away. "Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you? I don't think it's whatever happened with Isabel or at least that's not all of it."

Her anger had been too swift, her frustration to tangible for it to have just happened a few moments ago. This seemed to Oliver as if it had been simmering for a while. It wasn't until she averted her gaze that he regretted asking. His jaw clenched when she shook her head.

"No, there is nothing else that I want to talk about with you. That was it. I don't want her thinking she can go through my stuff. Her sense of entitlement makes me nauseous and that's saying a lot seeing as I spend every day with Oliver Queen." He flinched mentally. He knew that she was just angry, but lashing out at him with comments like that wasn't something she usually did.

"What was your purpose by coming in here? What do you want me to do?" He gritted out, his anger an automatic defense against emotional hurt of any kind.

"I don't know. I just…I already hate her and seeing her snooping on my computer was a breaking point. I don't know what I expected you to do about it, I was just pissed off, I'm still pissed off, but like I said I have no idea what you could do about it." Right now she wanted out of this office. Looking at him was making one issue bleed into another and she didn't want to say anything that she would regret. He was already angry at her, pushing him on something he couldn't give wouldn't help this issue.

"Do you hate Isabel for her sense of entitlement or for something else?" The question was out there, and he hadn't meant for it to be. Felicity's eyes flared then narrowed. Oliver felt his insides tighten as he realized the effect that question had on Felicity.

Felicity felt small, as if she didn't really matter. Her feelings for Oliver didn't matter to him. He'd made it clear that he wouldn't even consider being with her, now he'd thrown his night with Isabel up in her face. Oh he probably hadn't meant to, but that's what it had felt like to her. She pulled her arm from his grasp and he released her easily, his mouth opened and she seen the apologetic look in his eyes, but she cut him off.

"I'm taking the rest of the day off." It was something she usually didn't do, however her emotions were running high and she was once again on the verge of saying things that were better left unsaid. Things like "I love you", "I want you", "Why won't you let yourself love me?" Those things would remain a secret, her secret forever.  
She pushed open the door, her eyes clouding with tears until she bit her lip and steeled her spine. She grabbed her small purse from behind her desk and cast the gentleman she'd kicked out of Oliver's office a quick glance.

"Mr. Queen is free, go right on in."

**So what do you think? What do you want to see happen or more of? Again thanks so much for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed this fiery chapter! **


End file.
